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Sunday, October 26, 2008 @ 8:49 pm ♥ drinking coffee in the previous nite seems to be a very wrong decision.. for no particular reason & i tink i gort addicted to coffee or rather itz caffeine.. i realised i cant into deep sleep even thou i lights out at 3am.. i keep tossing & turning & it was den i know it was ard after 5am tat i went into my lalaland.. these 'IF' thoughts popped up in my mind.. note the word 'IF'.. so don't get too surprised over the few things tat i typed here.. & NO OFFENCE.. IF.. i had worked hard enough during my PSLE, i wouldnt have land myself in NA stream over those few points difference.. & by now i would be in the 3rd year of study waiting for graduation.. BUT i've gort no regrets being in the NA stream, coz i earned an eXtra year of being with classmates & gained stronger frenships.. IF.. i had worked hard in my o'levels.. i wouldnt have land myself in a course which im struggling over.. when everything i learning now is all java & still java.. when i can get to a course which interest me since years ago.. even thou itz my father who used to let me gain interest in IT.. but interest do change over time & it totally different from what i tot to be.. IF.. heaven had created me of not being so overly quiet or stubborn at times.. i tink things wouldnt be in this way.. but to change from wat & who i am is not a easy one to two days thing.. so i rather remain as who i am & not change for anybody sake.. i tink ppl who change for the sake of others is rather dumb & stupid.. nobody is perfect.. IF.. im being straightforward in my words (at times), ppl mite tink tat i had overdo it & hurt their feelings which leads to misunderstanding (like the previous incident during my stay at nokia).. whereas IF on the other hand.. im being too nice in my words, ppl mite tink tat i gort ulterior motive & mistook my idea especially towards the guy side which in turn leads to another misunderstanding.. for me i had tried to balance out my words not to be too straightforward not to be too nice in my words at times.. IF.. anything happens like i flunked any of the modules this semester, blah blah.. i won't hestitate to withdraw from school, burn all the notes & books, open up champagne & party all night, & declaring myself freedom from school & study.. even thou after going thru so mch to come this far when i juz left another year to finish poly life.. IF.. my ability & means allows me to cope with this semester workload.. most probably i will get myself a part-time job.. since most of the time i will be free on fri, sat & sun.. so why not get myself something to do instead of wasting time at home.. at least there's still a job for me to secure.. but school & assignments still my priority as a student right now.. IF.. i reallie not in a good good mood.. i mite go MIA for quite some time.. i will not go online, will not do any blogging, switch off my phone, stay at home omst everyday avoiding the crowd, locked myself in my room & be one emo freak.. & no one can contact me, no one will knows my whereabout & my well-being.. when i need some time alone.. actually there are some more 'IFs' thoughts but i doubt i will typed them all down here.. i not trying to be of so mch emo here.. :) & i actually realise something.. one of the calefare actor who acted in the 9pm show is actually one of the customer whom i had served b4 in parkway.. no wonder i find tat guy rather familar.. |
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